… for the little sister who has to suffer when I’m unhappy or when I’m down.
Because before the mess tonight, I was still okay and was downstairs in the living room – watching tv and burning DVDs on my laptop.
She was in the other room nearby playing the computer.
It was then that I received the boyfriend’s text message.
And it was then that I retreated to my room upstairs and had the phone call.
It was only after the call that the little sister realised that I was not in the living room anymore and came upstairs looking for me.
I know it isn’t very nice to find yourself alone.
She tried to come in but the door was locked. So she knocked and I answered so that she wouldn’t get worried or upset but I still couldn’t open the door for her because I had been crying in my room and I looked a mess and she won’t be that dumb to not notice something was wrong.
She is too young to understand what is going on. And I couldn’t face her like this. If she is capable of worry, I do not want to impose that upon her. Because like I said, she is too young.
Eventually she went away and decided to pack her bag – for her music lesson and a birthday party she’s going to attend tomorrow. She can be quite cute and adorable sometimes. It made me feel worse.
So I tried my best after that, tried to calm myself down so that my eyes won’t look so puffy and red.. then I helped her pack her bag. And then I got her ready for bed – made sure she brushed her teeth and changed into her pyjamas.
She decided that tonight she was going to sleep by herself in my brother’s old room. My brother is off in another country for his studies and hasn’t been around since the beginning of the year.
She usually sleeps in my parents room and has been doing so for years. Ever since she was born, actually.
So I was surprised. I think she is training herself to sleep alone so that she will be prepared to sleep in her own room when she moves together with my parents to another state. That’s another story to be told later.
That was really sweet. Who knew my sister was capable of being cute? Ever since she started farting discriminately, she has ceased being cute in my eyes.
Since my brother hasn’t been around since the beginning of the year, there weren’t any sheets on his bed for it’s not being used. So I helped my little sister make up her bed, put on the sheets, brought extra pillows from my parents room so that she is comfortable, turned on the air conditioning (I admit I was worried that she might get too cold at night), and she switched off the lights and climbed into bed, and I covered her with the comforter.
Since she’s sleeping alone I also left the lights at the landing at the staircase on just in case she wakes up in the middle of the night and panics because she forgot where she was. Or got scared.
I’m leaving my door unlocked tonight too just in case she changes her mind and needs to be with someone. It’s a big deal because I haven’t slept with my door unlocked in years. I have some issues with feeling secure. A locked door helps me sleep more soundly at night.
I hope what I did was enough to make up for my disappointing behavior tonight.
